Today in my small group we were talking about relationships and dating. Since this is a Christian women’s group of course our focus was on a Godly marriage and biblical dating advice. We had a good time sharing and then closed off and a couple of resources that were shared. One that really caught my attention was the book: Boundaries in Marriage by Dr. Henry Cloud, Dr. John Townsend. (you know, when the Holy Spirit says… READ THAT BOOK)

I have read many of their “boundaries” series but I hadn’t picked that one up yet, because I'm not married (yet lol), but one of the closing statements in that meeting was… “ EVEN IF YOU AREN’T MARRIED, READ IT!” Right after our meeting I downloaded the book online and started reading it.

Needless to say, wow! Holy Spirit gave me some real and raw revelations as I flipped through those pages, but not in the way that most would read this book. As many of you know, I see everything through the lense of our body, and our relationship with it. So as I read this book God showed me how almost everything in it applies to the relationship we have with our own bodies.

Your very first marriage is with your body. Whether you grew up a believer or not you grew up with a body. And even though some of you may have emotionally divorced your body, you need to realize that you and your body are in it together till death do you apart. So, learning to love each other and communicate is not only necessary, it’s powerful.

As I started reading through the foundations of "Boundaries in Marriage". I could clearly see how the core of most boundaries relate so well to the things I teach my clients. There are certain boundaries you need to set in place, in order to protect that holy marriage between your soul (your mindset, who you are) and your body. AND NO boundaries are not about limitations but freedom, freedom to enjoy a strong, capable, energized body.

Some of it comes down to what you put in your body and what you do with it… how much you lovingly care for it IN THE WHOLE SENSE OF THOSE WORDS. Even if that means protecting it from the demands of your daily life that may tempt you to neglect it or not prioritize caring and loving on your body.

Yes, that means how you fuel your body, WHAT and WHEN you eat, the amount of exercise and rest your body gets, how much you value it, the kind of attention you give it (Do you look at it to criticize it? or to lovingly acknowledge all it does for you?). All of it.

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The book addresses “The Triangle of Boundaries” A cycle between the following three things: 1. Freedom 2. Responsibility 3. Love

This is the cycle your body goes through when you are ready to take it to the next level.

THIS IS HOW I WOULD ADAPT IT TO EXPLAIN WHAT HAPPENS IN THE MARRIAGE BETWEEN YOUR BODY AND YOUR SOUL: As love grows, your body becomes free from the things that enslave it… “prioritizing other things in your life, sinful patterns, past hurts and physical pain as well as other self-imposed limitations. It gains a greater and greater sense of self-control and responsibility. As you become more responsible for your body, your body becomes more loving. Something incredible happens as these three ingredients of a relationship work together.
As love grows so does freedom, leading to more responsibility, and to more love.

This is why a person who is in their 80s but has lovingly cared for their body and remained fit, can say that they feel better and better as time goes on. They become more free to be themselves as a result of being loved, and the love relationship deepens. -This is My adaptation of the excerpts from the book BOUNDARIES IN MARRIAGE

THIS IS THE ORIGINAL TEXT FROM THE BOOK:

“Something incredible happens as these three ingredients of a relationship work together. As love grows, spouses become more free from the things that enslave: self-centeredness, sinful patterns, past hurts, and other self-imposed limitations. Then, they gain a greater and greater sense of self-control and responsibility. As they act more responsibly, they become more loving. And then the cycle begins all over again. As love grows so does freedom, leading to more responsibility, and to more love.

"This is why a couple who has been married for fifty or more years can say that the marriage gets better and better as time goes on. They become more free to be themselves as a result of being loved, and the love relationship deepens.”
​ -Excerpt from "Boundaries in Marriage" By Dr. Henry Cloud & Dr. John Townsend

Whether you are trying to lose weight, feel more energized or just have a healthier more fit body, today evaluate this first marriage between you and your body. Feel free to respond with what you would like most help on if you took your body to marriage counseling.

P.S. I will be hosting a CH room on Monday at 2pm EST to address this topic and answer any questions you may have.